S1E01 How to Design your Divorce with Clarity & Intention
In our inaugural episode, your host, Cynthia Lowe, an experienced CPA, Divorce Financial Expert, and Mediator, shares anecdotes of her experiences with clients and encourages listeners to approach divorce as a new beginning. In addition, she shares a revelation that led to the creation of her website, Divorce Help Connection, her online course, Do Divorce Smart from the Start, and this Podcast, Divorce Designed for the Destination.
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Transcript
Let me ask you a question. Where would you rather go? The happiest place on earth. Or the place where dreams come true. I don't know about you. But they both sound pretty good to me. Right because we all know I'm talking about Disney.
What did Disney and your divorce having common? More than you think let's talk about it. Join me on today's episode of divorce, designed for the destination. How to design your divorce with clarity and intention.
Welcome to divorce designed for the destination. I'm your host, Cynthia Lowe. This podcast is for women who have decided to divorce. But feel stuck, overwhelmed, and fearful about what lies ahead. As the CPA, divorced financial expert and a mediator with over a decade of experience in the divorce industry. I now teach how to do divorce smart from the start. My goal is to empower women, to create a life they love doing it with unwavering confidence, laser focus, and without breaking the bank. Each week I'll share advice from my focus framework and my sights on success strategy. And some insider tips along the way.
I'm so glad you're here.
Magical right. Isn't that the word that comes to mind when you think about Disney. Sure feels magical. I can close my eyes. I can think back to time spent at Disney destinations. And I remember it like it was yesterday.
Try it.
Close my eyes, my son, Jacob, smiling ear to ear. His little hand in mind, pulling me into the park. He can hardly wait. I can hear faint music playing in the background. Do you feel yourself smiling as you remember that feeling? You know when the castle first comes into view. And what's that wonderful smell in the air candy, popcorn chocolate. Do you think they pumped the smell? From secret fans to add to the experience. Uh, wonderful.
A special kind of excitement is in the air for sure. Like I said, it's magical.
How did he do it? How did he create this experience for us?
A place for all ages where you experienced that magic of childhood. The beauty and hope of a future. And at the same time, He seals it in our memory. To the point that years later, just thinking about it can bring a smile to our face. Are you smiling right now? Disney calls what they do. Imagineering. It works for Disney. And it can work for you.
On today's podcast, we're going to explore how the magic of Disney's Imagineering can be your inspiration and transform your divorce experience.
As a CPA. Mediator and divorced financial expert. Typically, my work begins with an initial client meeting. Over the years I've met people from all different circumstances. But the one thing they have in common is this. I wouldn't say it was a look. But they all seemed well overwhelmed, kind of bewildered. It was like a mix of fear and uncertainty.
That look. It left me thinking. As different as all these clients and their circumstances were. They all would say they felt powerless. They felt they had no control over the process. Outside of that. Look, the only thing they did have in common was that they had made the decision to divorce. They hired an attorney, and they started their divorce by filing. The initial complaint with the court. So, I got thinking and I came to this conclusion. Something was broken besides their marriages. Then I realized something that ultimately resulted in my creation of Divorce Help Connection, my course Do Divorce Smart From the Start, and this podcast Design Your Divorce for the Destination. It sounds so simple. Making the decision to divorce is one thing. But the, how you get divorced; this can make all the difference; life altering, forever changed, no do overs kind of difference. So here we are. Each week, I'll be here to help you, to encourage you, and to educate you. Together, we can be part of the change; as you design your divorce for your destination.
Okay, let’s get back to Disney and why what we're discussing here is so important. Typically, what I find is when making the decision to divorce; most lack clarity about the important destination in their life. Let's be clear. It's not the day the judge finalizes your divorce. But yet, all the time, energy and financial resources are focused on deadline oriented task lists that ultimately ends with the finalizing of the divorce. Here's the problem. They confuse their day in court as their destination. Lack of clarity here can result in challenges well into your future. The destination; your destination is your life after your day in court.
I can't tell you how many times clients come into my office. Focused just on the immediate, I ask them, what do you want? They typically give me an answer like, “I want my grandmother's China. There's no way he's getting her China.” Or, they just look at me like a deer in the headlights.
If you're listening to this podcast, you're most likely thinking about divorce.
Okay. If you're multitasking, I want you to stop what you're doing and listen. I want to give you a warning. You have to take the time. Take as much time as you need to think about your destination. If you don't know what you want your life to look like, where you want to go. How are you going to have confidence in the decisions you're faced with? And more importantly, if you don't know where you want to go, you're going to be out of control. You're essentially gambling with your future and the future of your children.
Walt Disney didn't just build a theme park; he created an experience that aligns with his vision.
Much in the same way, your divorce, isn't just a legal process. It's a life transition that should be handled with intention. And a whole lot of care.
So, with that in mind, let's get back to envisioning your future. Let's take a closer look at how Walt Disney meticulously designed and executed. A place where we believe dreams come true and how you can approach your divorce with this same clarity and purpose.
Walt Disney’s imagineering consisted of four key disciplines. Imagining, focusing on the details, persevering with hope and being solution-oriented. My hope is that you'll use these techniques and create your future. A future where your dreams come true. Where you'll find happiness, joy, and fulfillment.
So, as we dive in using Walt's first discipline, ask yourself and imagine. What does your ideal life look like after divorce? Not just the day it's finalized, but the weeks, months, and years of follow. Walt Disney imagined a place in his mind. Then through time and effort was successful in creating his quote dreamland. Or as I like to call it, the memory maker. Basically, Walt Disney mindfully planned it into reality.
Now, I would guess some of you are more creative than others and before you shut off the podcast, because you think you have no imagination, and this is a waste of time. Hear me out. The imagining part was one of the four disciplines he used. For me, I think it's a package deal. I'm a CPA and a numbers girl in a world where everything must balance. I get it. Don't worry. The other three disciplines help with the imagining part.
From what I understand, Walt Disney's imagining began with how we wanted the people that came to the park to feel and what he disliked at the current parks that he wanted to change. I'm a big believer in what we think is super powerful. I love this quote from Robin Sharma. What you focus on in your life grows. What you think about expands and what you dwell on determines your destiny. So friend, focus, think and dwell on what you want. For your future life.
As part of Disney's imagining he also used another discipline. He focused on the details. Thinking back to the memory of that day at the park. What makes it come to live or the memories from come from all my senses. I can remember what I was hearing. What I was smelling, what I could see the sense of touch with my son's hand. All of this was wrapped up. So to speak, like with the feeling in my heart, the memory.
So, What could this look like for you? First. commit to creating future focused thoughts. Think about your day, ask yourself. When I wake up every day, I want to feel fill in the blank. I tend to think in terms of energy. So for me, I want to wake up feeling rested and having energy. As you go throughout your day, take notice. How are you feeling? What brings you more positive?
And when you have feelings, you would like to change, notice that as well. I, I really suggest you get a little memo book, you know, carry a pen and a little memo book and jot it down. In the moment. So you can remember it. Get consistent with this practice. And the imagining a vision of your future. We'll get clear. Now the next two disciplines, I think work together. I think of it as a mental muscle. I think we would all agree that at the point of thinking about divorce, putting these disciplines into place. It's going to feel like training for the Olympics. I know. If I could reach through the phone right now and give you a hug, I would. I'm adding a fifth dimension courage.
Now applying Disney's discipline might some whimsical. But it's a powerful tool to imagine your future with hope and perseverance. Stay solution-oriented, especially when challenges arrive. Remember, you're designing a life. That's true to you. You're the architect of your future, and I'm here to guide you and support you. Until next week, remember? The way you get divorced can be just as important as the divorce itself.
So, take some time envisioning your future and remember your life after divorce. Can be as magical as your best Disney memory. Keep your sights on success and design your divorce for your destination.
