I reached for my phone... hello..hello?

“Is this thing ever going to end?” she said.

I could hear the frustration in my clients voice. Her divorce had been going on for over a year and the judge just set a trial date.

“I wish I knew then what I know now”... her voice now almost at a whisper with that trembling sound you get when you're trying not to cry. 

"I wish I knew then what I know now when I started my divorce."

I hear those words... I see their faces.. their overwhelming sadness and despair hanging in the air like a thick fog. Typically, I hand them a box of Kleenex feeling helpless as I move around my desk to give them a consoling hug...

"How did it get to this point", they would say...

Mistakes during divorce can be lethal... the consequences can be catastrophic."

The divorce process can be brutal.  Mistakes during divorce can be lethal... the consequences can be catastrophic.

How can this happen to men and women...

to families...

to children…?

"I'm going to trial?

Sadly, there are times when a couple ends up in a trial. The judge, a complete stranger makes the decisions for them. After more than fifteen years as a divorce financial expert and a trained mediator it never gets easier to see a divorce trial.

How does this happen?

How do I think this happens?  Here's what I know...

The common thread I have seen over the years as I recall the faces of the men and women sitting across my desk...is this...

all of them were at a point in their life that they felt unhappy...

searching for answers they wrestled with the idea that divorce might be the reason...

without preparing or thinking it through, they took a step in that direction…

but.. they did not know what they did not know!

How did I get to this place?

If you're not careful, divorce can get quickly get very complicated and impact every aspect of your life...

The decision to divorce and the actions surrounding the process should be mindfully planned.

The process has a minefield of trigger events that could have you, like my client today, asking yourself, “how did I get to this place?

”I wish I knew then what I know now...when I started the process”.