Why You Must Divorce Smart From the Start

By Cynthia Lowe

 In this enlightening episode of "Divorce Designed for the Destination," hosted by Cynthia Lowe, a seasoned CPA, divorce financial expert, and mediator, we delve into the critical importance of being your own advocate in the divorce process. The episode kicks off with a compelling narrative where Cynthia recounts a meeting where incorrect financial advice was given by an attorney, underscoring the dire consequences of misinformation and the necessity for specialized knowledge, especially in divorce-related matters.

Cynthia draws parallels between the need for expertise in handling personal affairs, such as car maintenance or health, and the intricate process of divorce. She emphasizes the stakes involved and the significant impact decisions made during divorce can have on one's life. This episode sets the stage for understanding the 'why' and 'how' of approaching your divorce with intelligence, clarity, and strategic foresight.

Central to the discussion is the introduction of Cynthia's "FOCUS Framework" and "Sights on Success Strategy," tools designed to combat the overwhelming nature of divorce and empower listeners to take control of their journey. "FOCUS" is not merely a term for concentration but a structured approach encompassing Framework, Organization, Communication, Understanding, and Solution-oriented mindset, essential for navigating the complexities of divorce successfully.

Listeners are given a preview of the upcoming series, where each element of the FOCUS acronym will be explored in depth in subsequent episodes. Cynthia promises to share insider tips, personal anecdotes, and actionable advice to help listeners construct a solid foundation for their divorce process, encouraging them to become organizing ninjas, master communicators, and informed decision-makers.

This episode is a beacon of hope and a repository of wisdom for women feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or fearful about their impending divorce. Cynthia reassures her audience that they are not alone, advocating for patience and the pursuit of knowledge. She invites listeners to subscribe to the podcast and visit her website, DivorceHelpConnection.com for additional support and resources.

Tune in to this episode of "Divorce Designed for the Destination" for an empowering guide on doing divorce smart from the start, ensuring you're equipped with the right tools, mindset, and support to design a future you love.

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Wow did he really just say that? I couldn't believe it. I was in a meeting at the request of a colleague. This colleague was with his very wealthy client. And I'm wondering, what do I do now? He's clearly giving his client the wrong information. Awkward. I knew this attorney was. Pretty well-known in the area. But I clearly heard him giving an incorrect answer to his client's question. The question was a typical kind of question that we get. Regarding potential financial outcomes of a particular aspect of their situation.

In this situation, the answer he gave him. About what he thought the court would do was wrong. To the tune of a quarter million dollars wrong. I'm not a lawyer. I'm a CPA. But after more than a decade of working with clients in divorce, you get a pretty clear understanding of the laws and the various aspects of how a case would be decided in the courts. So, how was this [00:01:00] possible that I knew this, but his attorney. A licensed practicing lawyer. Was incorrect and advising his client. On today's episode, we're going to talk about how this can happen. Why you must be your best advocate and the five ways you must do your divorce smart from the start.

 Welcome to divorce designed for the destination. I'm your host, Cynthia Lowe. This podcast is for women who have decided to divorce. But feel stuck, overwhelmed and fearful about what lies ahead. As the CPA, divorced financial expert and a mediator with over a decade of experience in the divorce industry. I now teach how to do divorce smart from the start. My goal is to empower women, to create a life they love doing it with unwavering confidence, laser focus, and without breaking the bank. Each week I'll share advice from my focus framework and my sights on success strategy. [00:02:00] And some insider tips along the way.

I'm so glad you're here.

The other day, I dropped my car off in the shop because it was making like this weird sound. So within a few hours, I get an email. I open up the email. And there's this huge diagnostic report. It had every system, my car had any, all the details about it, that condition suggestions, possible course of action to fix it. Outside of being an amazing marketing tool. It was pretty darn impressive.

I have to say. So, uh, you know, cars was the computers. They tell the whole story. So this guy's specialized in his trade. He invested in a piece of equipment that wow. It. Really was impressive. And more importantly, it narrowed down the issues of what was going on in my machine. My machine, my car. [00:03:00] And I like. I'm a biker or my machine. Um, so. But his investment in this equipment, it provided me. With a pretty clear demonstration of his competency. And an a minimum how serious he took his business.

So in this case, the auto mechanic or the owner of the shop, you specialized, same thing happens. You hear a story where someone has a very serious illness. And I know. Where I live, people go to the, if they have a serious illness, they'll go to like a big metropolitan area to get a specialist, to give them a diagnosis or a. Uh, treatment plan because.

You know, two doctors can do the same thing, but one is spent years studying or specializing. And maybe a general practitioner might only see. A certain kind of illness. I don't know if they see it at all, [00:04:00] where. A guy that treats a blood disorder or a brain illness. He. Sees it all the time. He just has. More expertise. So, um, And I that's, let me clarify.

It's not to say that. Either one is one is smarter than the other.

It's just. One has a more narrow. Um, Expertise, a more focused expertise. So.

Here's. How.

So certainly me getting my car fixed and diagnosing a sound in my engine. Is. Way less serious than somebody who has. Uh, rare brain [00:05:00] illness and wants to find help with that.

Now here's where divorce comes in.

So the difference between the car example and the illness example. Is how much due diligence you do depends on the impact and the potential consequences. I make a mistake with. The guy from my car that doesn't have that. You know, specialized machine, maybe I have to. Get it fixed, pay more for something that didn't fix it as opposed to zeroing in on the problem. The impact. My cost me a little money extra.

If I didn't have that. Uh, report. And the brain illness go to the wrong person and maybe.

You know, there's a wonder drug that just came out in the general practitioner would know about it because he's not treating that. [00:06:00] So the due diligence that you do, there's a big impact. If you get it wrong. Well, Let's think about divorce. Divorce has a major impact. And consequences. And if I told you some how it can get your head would spin. So in today's episode, we're going to discuss the why and the, how. That you can do divorce smart from the start.

First off. Overall, what I'm saying is you need to be your best advocate. You need to take responsibility for your life. And what impacts you?

This timing, your life friend. If you're not careful. It can have huge impact. And it's up to you to understand what that impact can be.

In the case [00:07:00] of that gentleman receiving bad advice. He was using his trusted advisor to do his divorce. His experience with this attorney was as a business advisor. And he was really good at it, but divorce was not his area of specialization. Now in fairness to the attorney, I'm sure he probably recommended a good divorce attorney to his client. But what you see so often this client sees how awesome they are. And handling their business affairs. He probably insisted that this guy worked with him on his divorce. Today, we're talking about how to do divorce smart in your life. And no matter how good your attorney will be, you must be smarter than them as it relates to your personal circumstances.

No, you don't need to go to law school, but you do need to do this. You need to use focus.

The focus I'm talking about is not the kind you're thinking. Good thing too. Because trying to [00:08:00] focus during a time of divorce. Many times it's going to be next from possible. What I'm going to teach you today. Is the focus. That's an acronym. And it's part. Of my focus framework. Which is part of my sights on success strategy that I teach.

The F this focus is an acronym. If he used this focus, you'll give yourself a pretty good chance at making good decisions during your divorce. And this will give you your best outcomes focus. I'm sure we all would agree. Focus is essential these days. If you want to accomplish anything. Especially with all the things in life that distracts us.

So let's focus on focus. This acronym is the result of watching so many of my clients go through divorce, looking at the ones that consistently had made good decisions. The ones that felt.

The ones that felt they had been [00:09:00] successful in their divorce.

Then I created my focus framework and my sights on success strategy.

Okay. So using the word focus we have AF. Is for framework. The oh. Is for organize. The C. Is for communication. The U is for understand. And the S is for solution oriented mindset.

Using. The focus framework.

Using focus. You'll re you'll. Using focus, a like lessen that feeling of overwhelm. You'll be more clear. Because you'll have more control and more power over your divorce and your life.

The F of our focus [00:10:00] framework.

The F of our focus is framework. Makes sense, right? Framework is first. Ever seen a house getting built, they frame it first. They create the structure that supports the rest of the house. It supports the build. So the house can be a good house, right? Not fall down in a storm. Like if you had no framework, It's essentially a hut, right? Framework.

It's like a roadmap. We'll discuss what you deserve. We'll discuss what.

We'll discuss what your divorce framework is and why it's so important. And we'll also discuss how to determine which framework is best for you. And your design.

[00:11:00] Could give an example about how the skeleton supports the body.

Following this episode, we'll be able to. Falling this episode in our necks and our next episode.

Include name.

We'll be all about organization, Theo of your focus. I'll share with you how to master this practice. I'll share with you how to master this practice specifically as it relates to your divorce. So you can be equipped and confident as you move forward. After you learn about. After you learn to become an organizing ninja, the episode, following that. You'll learn about the sea of focus. Communication.

So important.

How many of you use texting? [00:12:00] So many people love texting. I'm not a fan. I remember back when. Now I'm dating myself, but back when texting first became popular. I started to try to use it, but apparently doing it wrong. One day, I sent a text to my son. I forget what it was about. But I get this text back. Mom.

Why are you yelling at me? I'm like, okay, I'm confused. I was not only not yelling, I hadn't even opened my mouth.

Well little did I know? That using caps. Meant I was yelling. Oh, boy. I remember going back to some of my previous texts to people to see if I had inadvertently yelled at them. Well, for me receiving tax. I know there were many times I was left one. And then you get the receipt of texts. So many times I'm left, wondering.

How should I take this? [00:13:00] Humor. I feel doesn't translate well in a text. So I went back to my son once again. I did not have it figured out. You add the mood oppose. So that's where I found out about emojis. That's where you add the mood, OMG. So involved for something, someone like me, who's a talker. Trying to tax with two thumbs with nails. Forget it. It was painful.

Especially when you get a text. And I'm too tired to do all the typing. Swipe pickups the phone and call the, I called the person. What. Add more confusion.

I get the voicemail. They have to be at their phone. They just texted me.

[00:14:00] And then. When you're texting, how do you know when the conversation's over? Do you say over and out, signing off? Does this convo just continue for days. Okay. I think I made my point. So onto the next letter. You. Which I could have ne I needed some help there with, which is the understanding. And we're going to address that on the next episode.

So the understand is to interpret. In a number of different ways. To have a sympathetic attitude to believe or infer something to be the case. Cognition and Mission sensory effect. Okay. These are just notes that I have to update. Cognition information processing Thomas [00:15:00] Aquinas, cognitive. Okay. That's getting pretty meaty divorces, like learning a new language. As a bonus on this episode, I'll include a legal dictionary free to download. Which I know you'll find helpful.

Finally on the last episode of the series, you'll discover how the S of focused solution oriented thinking. I will result in not only your best divorce decisions. But help you in any area you choose to use it. I'll reveal techniques you can put into practice and develop as you design your divorce.

Imagine what it will feel like.

What could happen if.

You're not alone. You're exactly where you're supposed to be and we'll do it together. Until next week, I encourage you to download. [00:16:00]

The legal dictionary. If you haven't listened to. The first podcast. A name X, Y, Z. I encourage you to do that.

I

would appreciate it. If you. Subscribe. Neeva review.